The law about special educational needs and disability says that young people’s views, wishes and feelings must be taken into account. The law also stresses how important it is that young people take part as fully as possible in the decisions made about them.
So, helping your young person to express themselves is an important part of making sure they get support that works. It’s the foundation of good support at school and college, or as they get older, in further education, training or in an apprenticeship.
There are lots of ways that you can support your young person to talk about their thoughts, feelings and experiences. The information below can help you to understand how best to give support. There are links to other types of information and some practical tips in the ‘More Information’ section.
It’s important to encourage young people to be ambitious, whatever their situation. It’s also important to support them with the choices they make – first by sharing the decision making with you and then, if possible, starting to take the lead.
Making decisions, and sometimes making mistakes and learning from them, is vital life skill. So the more practice they get with your support, the better. Giving their views is also a great way to help young people learn to speak up for themselves as adults.
Young people with special educational needs or a disability (SEND) may need more support than others to develop these skills, but their views are just as important.
Your young person’s views, wishes and goals are the foundations of good planning and support. If the support isn’t what’s important to them, then it’s unlikely to work. So, good planning and support starts with helping them to understand and share what they’re good at, what they need more help with, and what their goals are for adult life.
If your young person has an EHC plan, or is being assessed for one, you might hear about something called the ‘Golden Thread’. Anyone reading their EHC plan should be able to see a clear link between what your young person wants in their life, the support they get and the difference that will make. That’s what the golden thread is. It should be in any plan they have, including those that school or college write.
From Year 9 onwards, your young person’s school or college will start talking about adult life and what that will look like. If your young person has an EHC plan, there will be a focus on preparing for adult life at each yearly review from year 9 onwards too. So, it’s a good idea for them to be involved in planning for the future and how to prepare for it, including talking about their:
There are lots of opportunities for young people to get their views into the decisions made about their education and support, such as:
Your young person’s views should be listened to alongside yours and those of any professionals. They’re equally important.
Whatever your young person’s age or ability, they may need help to ‘talk’ and you’ll need to work out the best way to do that which meets them on their level. Home is often the best place to do this, though anywhere they feel comfortable or safe will work just as well.
You know your young person best, so you’ll know the best way to have these conversations, and how much support they’re likely to need (if any at all). As they get older, they’re more likely to want to take part under their own steam, and of course they may have quite different views from you. Things change when your young person reaches 16 too (see more about this below).
Some young people use view gathering apps such as Mind Of My Own (MOMO) which help them organise their thoughts and make it easier to tell other people what they think. You could suggest they use something like that.
If they need your help to give their views, or if they ask for it, here are a few other tips to help you:
You can see some more practical ideas in our top tips information sheet.
The Three Houses tool and Three Islands tool are simple ways that will help some young person share what they think and feel about their lives. You can use it to help them talk about home, school or both.
Drawing can be a great way of helping a young person express themselves if they’re finding using words difficult. One useful way to do this is to ask your child to draw their day in a big circle like a clock, from when they get up all the way round to when they go to bed. They can use speech and thought bubbles to show what’s going on for them and the people around them. Using different colours for different emotions throughout the day is another useful way to add more detail.
If your young person has been assessed by an educational psychologist, they may have spent time finding out what they think about school too. You can look at this information as well and ask your young person if they want to share it as part of their views.
There is also a range of free person-centred thinking tools you can use with your young person.
If your young person finds focusing or communicating hard, you may need to use the time you have to look at just a few things. To begin with, focus on the most important things you need to know.
Some young people create a one-page profile of themselves, which includes a photograph. It has the most important information about them on a single sheet of paper. It can help to think about and answer three main questions:
If your young person can and wants to do more, here are some of the other things they might want to think about (they don’t need to do them all):
There are several ways to record views, such as This is Me which a young person can fill out on their own or with your help. For other ideas have a look at our top tips.
Whatever way they choose, the important thing is to make sure their views are shared. They don’t have to share them with everyone and if there is someone they don’t want to see them, ask them to make that clear. Otherwise, your young person should send a copy to:
It’s a good idea for them to give their views at least once a year. But they can to do it more often if they want to – if there’s a lot of change or if they’re finding life especially difficult.
When a young person reaches 16 and the end of compulsory school age (the end of the school year in which they turn 16) the legal rights around making decisions pass to them and away from parents and carers.
So, as your young person gets older, it becomes even more important that they’re able to express and share their views confidently.
Professionals will talk directly to a young person age 16 or over, as well as or instead of you. In reality, most young people will want or need their parents or carers to stay involved and help with decisions. As a parent or carer you can act on their behalf if they’re happy for you to do that.
The right of a young person to make a decision is subject to their capacity to do so. That means that to have the right to make a decision, they must be capable of making it. This is called mental capacity. If a young person can’t make decisions then someone else can do it on their behalf, as long as it’s in their best interest. Sometimes a young person can lack capacity to make some decisions, such as to deciding which college to go to, but still have the capacity to make other decisions, such as decide what to have for dinner.
Deciding whether a young person has the mental capacity to make a decision about their education, needs or support is something that’s looked at individually. You can find out more about mental capacity at Independent Provider of Special Education Advice (IPSEA).
Young people have the right to contact and use any Information Advice and Support Service, such as DiAS, for help and support. We have two Children and Young People’s workers who can help young people directly.
Talking about what they think and feel, and then seeing things happen as a result, is an important thing for young people to learn. It helps them feel listened to and valued, and feel they have some control over what happens to them.
Sometimes it’s easy for their voice to get lost in the discussions. If there are lots of professionals involved, if they have complex needs or if their behaviour is challenging it’s all too easy to lose sight of what they want and need.
Young people can sometimes echo the views of their parents or carers too, for all sorts of reasons. So, it’s important to make sure that it’s the young person’s voice that everyone is hearing and that it stays at the heart of any discussions. Here are a few tips to help that happen:
Young people can also talk to one of our children and young people’s workers, who can support them to give their views.
There’s a wide range of tools to use, from watching your young person’s face and gestures, through to pictures and cards and high tech devices. You know what will work best, so use the communication methods they prefer. You can ask the staff at their school or college for their advice and support too
Everyone is different so you’ll need to decide whether your young person is likely to want to go to a meeting or an appeal, and how well they would cope.
School, college and other meetings
Young people can and do go to meetings and as they get older, this is a helpful way for them to get involved in making decisions. Some people also like to know what everyone is talking about! But not everyone will want to, or will be able to manage it. Meetings can feel overwhelming and sometimes be boring too.
If your young person wants to be involved, you could ask them to come to the start of the meeting for a few minutes. It’s a good way to take part, see what the meeting is like and have a say with the least amount of stress. They can talk about what’s working at school or college and what they need help with. If they want to stay for the whole meeting, they can always ask to take a break.
Mediation is an informal, confidential and voluntary process. An independent person (a mediator) helps people who disagree about something to try and reach an agreement that both sides are happy with. It can be used when the parents of a young person under 16 disagree with a decision the local authority has made about their Education Health and Care (EHC) plan or an assessment for one. If the young person is over 16, then they decide whether to go to mediation or not, as long as they have mental capacity (see section above ‘What happens when my young person reaches 16?). If they don’t have mental capacity, they can ask you or another advocate to act as their representative.
Young people can, and do, go to mediation meetings. Although the mediator will try and make things as relaxed and easy as possible, this type of meeting can feel more stressful and intimidating than a school or college meeting.
If your young person wants to take part, or they’ve asked for the meeting, it’s a good idea to make sure they’re well prepared. Ask them to decide what they want to say, what’s important to tell everyone at the meeting and what questions they have.
Sometimes it can help to think about what the other side might be saying and plan what they could say in reply. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, so work out beforehand how you’ll deal with that. During these meetings you can ask for a break to go away and talk about something between you, or simply to stop the discussions for a short while.
When a local authority makes certain decisions about the education and/or training of a young person with SEND, there is a right of appeal to an independent tribunal. That means if you and your young person disagree with some of the decisions made about an EHC plan or assessment, you can challenge those decisions.
If the decision is about a child up to compulsory school age, parents and carers have the right of appeal. If the decision is about a young person over compulsory school age and under 25, then it’s the young person who has the right of appeal, as long as they have mental capacity.
Children and young people can and do go to tribunal and give evidence, if the tribunal panel agrees. It’s helpful for young people to be there to explain their case and the appeals panel will want to hear anything they have to say. Your young person may also want to ask questions of the local authority and any witnesses they have. If they are the person appealing, you can go with them to give support.
The appeal panel is made up of a judge and two other members with SEND expertise, and although they’ll do their best to make everyone feel comfortable it can be a difficult experience. It’s good to bear in mind that tribunal hearings can sometimes last for several hours and can be tiring and unsettling for older children and young people. If your young person has asked you to be their representative they may want to come but may not want to stay for the full hearing.
Tell your young person what difference sharing their views will make. This helps to give them confidence in their ability to understand and influence what happens around them.
You can explain how their views are discussed and taken into account, and what decisions are made as a result. If they’ve asked for something that can’t be done, then it’s important to explain why.
Page reviewed: July 2024
Page due for review: July 2027
DiAS (Devon, Information, Advice and Support) supports children and young people aged 0-25 with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), and their parents and carers.
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